Shoshana, a mother residing in central Israel, has a son serving in the Israeli Defense Forces. Over the last few months he has been one of many soldiers defending the Jewish community of Hebron. What follows is an outpouring of thoughts, fears, anxiety and prayers that she has expressed through writing.

Helping Israel.com thanks Shoshana for her courage in allowing us to share her journal with the online public. She hopes her writing will encourage other women to express themselves through this forum and will help them derive strength through their common bond.

If you would like to share your feelings with us, please write to feedback@helpingisrael.com

For responses to Shoshana's Journal and more writing click here

Please click on the date to see entire entry:

October 08, 2000 - "Eve of Yom Kippur"
October 10, 2000 - "...he's been moved again..."
October 11, 2000 - "...an involuntary reaction..."
October 12, 2000 - "...a soldier has been shot..."
October 12, 2000 - "...I felt that we were living through a holocaust..."
October 15, 2000 - "Thunderstorm and gunshots"
October 18, 2000 - "..I'm pretty disgusted -and am going to bed early..."
October 19, 2000 - "...you can hear the children and the babies crying in the                                   background."
October 19, 2000 - "He's okay, thank G-d."
October 20, 2000 - "Fear is a horrible thing - it invades a persons sense of                                   self..."
October 21, 2000 - "...more and more people are going in."
October 23, 2000 - "He is home !"
October 26, 2000 - "I just can't believe what people must get used to."
October 28, 2000 - "...a test of our nerves."
October 29, 2000 - "He called..."
October 30, 2000 - "...getting used to the situation."
October 31, 2000 - "how could I pray that it wasn't my son - that would mean                                  that it was the son of another mother."
November 07, 2000 - "...mascara stains..."
November 09, 2000 - "...saying goodbye is excruciating"
November 14, 2000 - "I'm not being melodramatic - I'm being painfully                                     realistic."
November 26, 2000 - "...it was one of the most intense mornings yet."
November 27, 2000 - Short but meaningful exchange between friends
November 30, 2000 - "For those of you who think that I'm falling apart..."
December 03, 2000 - "There's nothing like family and good friends..."
December 11, 2000 - "He went 'somewhere'..."
December 17, 2000 - "Shabbat was the best ever!"
December 31, 2000 - "...totally filled with sadness, fear and rage..."
January 04, 2001 - "Daniel's coming home!!! They did a lottery - and he won!"
January 08, 2001 - "This is a dramatic time, my dear friends."
January 09, 2001 - "you start feeling that the world's not listening...."
January 28, 2001 - "...something happened that has reached so deeply into a                                 most painful part of my soul."
February 02, 2001 - - "...they are at each other¹s throats as a result of the                                  situation."
February 15, 2001 - - "Tell me again, Mommy ­ how did it happen?²"

March 25 , 2001 -  "Finally - they are leaving."
March 26 , 2001 -  "One of our babies was killed - in our land - today."
March 27 , 2001 -  "He is not being taken out of there now."
March 28 , 2001 -  "... he's out of Hevron."
March 29 , 2001 -  " It was like post traumatic stress disorder..."
March 30 , 2001 -  "...he was on his way back to Hevron."
April 1 , 2001 -  " the Arabs are much more aggresive - they're firing constantly""
April 19 , 2001 -  "If things continue to escalate, they might have to put the boysback into combat.... We're all praying."
April 23 , 2001 -  "...we can't stop celebrating the birth of our State."
October 23, 2001 -  "...He is home."  
March, 2003 -  "...He made it."